Presence by Necessity

I learned presence through survival.

Through free climbing, cold air, hunger, exhaustion, health issues.

I forced myself into the moment because the moment was the only place I could stay alive.

It wasn’t flow.

It was necessity.

If my environment doesn’t demand presence, for myself I don’t always choose it.

Not because I don’t want to,

but because I’ve wired myself to believe that choosing stillness, choosing softness, is selfish.

That ease is indulgence.

That rest must be earned.

That awareness is only valid if it comes at the edge of collapse.

And I want to change that.

Not by rejecting pressure,

but by letting softness feel like enough.

We are allowed to be here without “earning” it.